whats the point of all this? (1 Viewer)

should i just give up


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xoNat

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like really, ive been losing sight of it all

i cant bring myself to study at all because this stress isn't real, it ends

everyday im told that this shit is so difficult, yet the same people say to not stress because everyone ends up in the same place. i get that its supposed to be reassuring to those who don't do well, but all that means for me is that the effort i put in is just useless

i cant see the purpose in being stressed about a number, i can see the purpose in being stressed about other things that actually contribute to fulfillment in life, but i got none of that. for nearly 6 years i just threw everything away for academics and got nothing out of it.

i can write essays, code websites, do well on exams, compress content and battle with deadlines.
but i barely got friends, can't see them anyway cuz i go out like once a month max, got no hobbies, no style, barely exercise, can't cook, street retarded, uncultured, integrityless, the list goes on

first place is a prison anyway.

what do i do?
I think every time I got to this point during the hsc I kind of told myself that doing something is at the very least better than doing nothing. It's much better to slow down than stop completely. At that point I would be watching revision videos of early content or doing like 3 questions at a time. Take some time to focus on the things that you want to do, especially doing physical activity it helps so much. iirc school is basically starting now so just take the first maybe two afternoons of this week to have some free time - try not to think about studying at all. Then you can go back to trials study with the goal of just improving anything you can. If you really can't get any study out literally just go outside.

Also you mentioned that you wanna do software eng with a requirement of 92+ so I assume you're talking about UNSW. If so, I highly recommend checking out UNSW's portfolio entry scheme, the adjusted ATAR would be 85. Round 1 is just about to close but you can also apply for round 2.

On a side note you have so much time to figure out the kind of person you want to be and what you want to pursue in life. Just because y12 is so busy with the study grind don't lose sight of the bigger picture, I remember writing this really long list of all the things I wanted to do in the break between end of HSC and uni and I'm still working through it now.
 

quokka

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lmao tyty
i need a 92+ for software eng but ngl software is js for the money and only cuz im good at it. i dont really want uni, or a job. i just want friends..
or, more specifically, the energy to maintain friends and whatever else i put on that list

i half blame my parents who shut down every hobby i had (photography, 3D modelling, code) because it took too much time out of studying and i did reclaim photography and code through joining clubs and choosing subject pathways and sure sometimes i remind myself "hey youve done stuff that you've dreamt of doing before" but its never truely satisfactory.

like i got so good at portrait photography that people would follow me around or ask me days in advanced for a photo, but the flip side of that is the pressure to cover every single event, and chase people up for photo consent, getting screamed at by superiors, etc. so i gave up
i skilled myself up with web design and web dev that I can build anything and yes i have done that, but the flip side of that is every project is a pressure-cooker and insurmountable variables need to be heaved together to form a cohesive product under deadlines that drive me to insanity. i still have some drive for that but web dev is my only real hobby that i intend to monetise

idk where my point is going tbh but ty for a comprehensive response lol
pls it’s the worst doing smth for ur parents and not for urself r they not letting u do photography? also on the friend regard, i also have like only 1 real friend currently in school and i intend on making more in uni cuz i hate everyone from my school so for the time being in a 2020 loser way ive made friends online, maybe try that? search on tiktok for gcs to join and stuff like that ppl always have discord servers they want ppl to join
 

yaveen

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I think every time I got to this point during the hsc I kind of told myself that doing something is at the very least better than doing nothing. It's much better to slow down than stop completely. At that point I would be watching revision videos of early content or doing like 3 questions at a time. Take some time to focus on the things that you want to do, especially doing physical activity it helps so much. iirc school is basically starting now so just take the first maybe two afternoons of this week to have some free time - try not to think about studying at all. Then you can go back to trials study with the goal of just improving anything you can. If you really can't get any study out literally just go outside.

Also you mentioned that you wanna do software eng with a requirement of 92+ so I assume you're talking about UNSW. If so, I highly recommend checking out UNSW's portfolio entry scheme, the adjusted ATAR would be 85. Round 1 is just about to close but you can also apply for round 2.

On a side note you have so much time to figure out the kind of person you want to be and what you want to pursue in life. Just because y12 is so busy with the study grind don't lose sight of the bigger picture, I remember writing this really long list of all the things I wanted to do in the break between end of HSC and uni and I'm still working through it now.
heyyy tysm!
I agree slowing down is better than stopping and I think I’ll start doing that today

also thank you so much for showing me what portfolio entry is. I’ll apply for round 2 because round 1 ends today loll

the list is so real Ive already made this longass note of literally everything and i think, like you, I’ll have at least some direction. Just gotta wait this out.
 

yaveen

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pls it’s the worst doing smth for ur parents and not for urself r they not letting u do photography? also on the friend regard, i also have like only 1 real friend currently in school and i intend on making more in uni cuz i hate everyone from my school so for the time being in a 2020 loser way ive made friends online, maybe try that? search on tiktok for gcs to join and stuff like that ppl always have discord servers they want ppl to join
yeahh I used to love editing my photos and trying to get the cool golden hour shots but they just said no
2020 is so real I spent way too much time online 💀 I do have friends but I want the energy to grow the relationships that I have if that makes sense
 

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