whats the point of all this? (3 Viewers)

[quokka]

lmao tyty
i need a 92+ for software eng but ngl software is js for the money and only cuz im good at it. i dont really want uni, or a job. i just want friends..
or, more specifically, the energy to maintain friends and whatever else i put on that list

i half blame my parents who shut down every hobby i had (photography, 3D modelling, code) because it took too much time out of studying and i did reclaim photography and code through joining clubs and choosing subject pathways and sure sometimes i remind myself "hey youve done stuff that you've dreamt of doing before" but its never truely satisfactory.

like i got so good at portrait photography that people would follow me around or ask me days in advanced for a photo, but the flip side of that is the pressure to cover every single event, and chase people up for photo consent, getting screamed at by superiors, etc. so i gave up
i skilled myself up with web design and web dev that I can build anything and yes i have done that, but the flip side of that is every project is a pressure-cooker and insurmountable variables need to be heaved together to form a cohesive product under deadlines that drive me to insanity. i still have some drive for that but web dev is my only real hobby that i intend to monetise

idk where my point is going tbh but ty for a comprehensive response lol

pls it’s the worst doing smth for ur parents and not for urself r they not letting u do photography? also on the friend regard, i also have like only 1 real friend currently in school and i intend on making more in uni cuz i hate everyone from my school so for the time being in a 2020 loser way ive made friends online, maybe try that? search on tiktok for gcs to join and stuff like that ppl always have discord servers they want ppl to join

 

[yaveen]

I think every time I got to this point during the hsc I kind of told myself that doing something is at the very least better than doing nothing. It's much better to slow down than stop completely. At that point I would be watching revision videos of early content or doing like 3 questions at a time. Take some time to focus on the things that you want to do, especially doing physical activity it helps so much. iirc school is basically starting now so just take the first maybe two afternoons of this week to have some free time - try not to think about studying at all. Then you can go back to trials study with the goal of just improving anything you can. If you really can't get any study out literally just go outside.

Also you mentioned that you wanna do software eng with a requirement of 92+ so I assume you're talking about UNSW. If so, I highly recommend checking out UNSW's portfolio entry scheme, the adjusted ATAR would be 85. Round 1 is just about to close but you can also apply for round 2.

Portfolio Entry | Additional Factors Alongside Your ATAR | UNSW Sydney

Be rewarded for your passion, creativity and potential to succeed at UNSW Sydney with Portfolio Entry, which encompasses your talent alongside your ATAR score.

www.unsw.edu.au

On a side note you have so much time to figure out the kind of person you want to be and what you want to pursue in life. Just because y12 is so busy with the study grind don't lose sight of the bigger picture, I remember writing this really long list of all the things I wanted to do in the break between end of HSC and uni and I'm still working through it now.

heyyy tysm!
I agree slowing down is better than stopping and I think I’ll start doing that today

also thank you so much for showing me what portfolio entry is. I’ll apply for round 2 because round 1 ends today loll

the list is so real Ive already made this longass note of literally everything and i think, like you, I’ll have at least some direction. Just gotta wait this out.

 

[yaveen]

pls it’s the worst doing smth for ur parents and not for urself r they not letting u do photography? also on the friend regard, i also have like only 1 real friend currently in school and i intend on making more in uni cuz i hate everyone from my school so for the time being in a 2020 loser way ive made friends online, maybe try that? search on tiktok for gcs to join and stuff like that ppl always have discord servers they want ppl to join

yeahh I used to love editing my photos and trying to get the cool golden hour shots but they just said no
2020 is so real I spent way too much time online I do have friends but I want the energy to grow the relationships that I have if that makes sense

 

[C2H6O]

give up on being someone you're not, doing something that you feel is not what you truly want. ask yourself what you actually see yourself doing, what standards you'd really like to set, because at the end of the day you bear the consequences of your actions, so don't bear the consequences of other people's expectations on your actions. if you know you'll be content without becoming a billionaire before 30 then enact that. if you want to be a billionaire before 30 then enact that, because you know the trials you go through are working toward what you see yourself as. give up pursuits that won't be fruitful, which will amount to nothing that you value. if you value friends, then give up whatever's stopping you. if you smoke but the consequences of that are not what see yourself living with, then give up what's preventing that. if you see yourself able to live with those consequences then continue. but of course i speak in hyperbole, because you don't always know what's best for your future self, but neither do people around you. the world is not black and white and change is inevitable. plan for the ahead but don't lose sight of current needs. after all if you look after your future but not your present self who will enjoy the future?

TLDR; what do you value? give up on meaningless pursuits. don't forget to look down at the present because without the present there is no future.

 

[yaveen]

give up on being someone you're not, doing something that you feel is not what you truly want. ask yourself what you actually see yourself doing, what standards you'd really like to set, because at the end of the day you bear the consequences of your actions, so don't bear the consequences of other people's expectations on your actions. if you know you'll be content without becoming a billionaire before 30 then enact that. if you want to be a billionaire before 30 then enact that, because you know the trials you go through are working toward what you see yourself as. give up pursuits that won't be fruitful, which will amount to nothing that you value. if you value friends, then give up whatever's stopping you. if you smoke but the consequences of that are not what see yourself living with, then give up what's preventing that. if you see yourself able to live with those consequences then continue. but of course i speak in hyperbole, because you don't always know what's best for your future self, but neither do people around you. the world is not black and white and change is inevitable. plan for the ahead but don't lose sight of current needs. after all if you look after your future but not your present self who will enjoy the future?

TLDR; what do you value? give up on meaningless pursuits. don't forget to look down at the present because without the present there is no future.

woah i really admire you
genuinely

youre right, even in hyperbole reframing the goals and expectations that i want for myself is necessesary to actually start working towards mental health. some decisions are less clear than others, like smoking which has an immediate advantage, but present me says that trials does matter at least a little for my future. with them being so close it would be a waste to throw away everything, but i need to scale back my expectations.

being content with limited success is fine because success isn't always a friend anyway, especially when it comes out of a place of subservience. so, youre right, i need to give up the things that are holding me back, but not everything and not so soon.

thank you

 

[Tony Stark]

How do you define success? What goals do you want to achieve in life? Will a higher ATAR contribute to these achievements, even indirectly? Where do you envision yourself in 5 years? What can you do to BE who you envision? What do you value? How can you spend time on your values (friends, family, adventuring, photographing, coding)? How can you balance what you HAVE to do (try in school, this doesn't mean try to be Jimmy from James Ruse who gets an ATAR of 300, it means to put in 101% in what you do). Split time between what you need to do and what you want to do (friends, photography, e.t.c). No one enjoys school more than hanging out, (I wish I chose a subject that includes coding, because now I can only code as a hobby), so study alongside giving time for yourself. In fact, if you give time to yourself, you are really giving time to your study, because if you aren't in the right emotional or mental state, how will you be in the right academic state? It's all part of YOU and not THEM.

BTW I'm actually kinda jealous of the websites you've worked on...sounds like you were a freelancer or smth or it was apersonal project, but the websites use no JS because I haven't had the time to learn it lol.

 

[enoilgam]

what do i do?

Ill add my two cents, I think school as a whole is greatly misunderstood by people and adults who then convey this incorrect message to students who are too young to know better. Dont look at school as being about "results" or "grades" per se, look at it as being about building skills. A high ATAR is really only of use for getting you into a few courses or for getting scholarships. For most people, an ATAR is a footnote in their lives.

What you should be getting out of school is discipline, goal setting, organisation and other general life skills. People say most of what you learn at school is useless, which is true. However, the skills you get out of it are not useless. Think about it, at school, you have work (exams, assignments etc) which you are required to complete to a certain standard within a set timeframe. To do this involves being organised, disciplined and an understanding of what is required. That is pretty much what you do at work. It is also what will be expected of you in your personal lives as spouses, parents and family members.

School is a training ground - practice your skills and try to improve on your performance. Dont get hung up on the mark. Id rather leave school with good skills and a mediocre ATAR vs cruising through and getting a good ATAR. One of those will 100% set you up for success in life, the other is of dubious effectiveness.

Also a sidenote, work on your interpersonal skills, because in the workplace relationship building/stakeholder engagement trumps intelligence in a lot of scenarios. Also, being good with people is far more useful in your family lives than an ATAR just saying.

 

[lolcti]

like really, ive been losing sight of it all

i cant bring myself to study at all because this stress isn't real, it ends

everyday im told that this shit is so difficult, yet the same people say to not stress because everyone ends up in the same place. i get that its supposed to be reassuring to those who don't do well, but all that means for me is that the effort i put in is just useless

i cant see the purpose in being stressed about a number, i can see the purpose in being stressed about other things that actually contribute to fulfillment in life, but i got none of that. for nearly 6 years i just threw everything away for academics and got nothing out of it.

i can write essays, code websites, do well on exams, compress content and battle with deadlines.
but i barely got friends, can't see them anyway cuz i go out like once a month max, got no hobbies, no style, barely exercise, can't cook, street retarded, uncultured, integrityless, the list goes on

first place is a prison anyway.

what do i do?

Damn this is so deep and real

 

[lolcti]

My advice is go to the gym, it’s my free therapy but in all honesty you will be okay, there’s 10 more weeks left and then it’s all over. Try become friends with more people in your grade, be confident, be stupid, it’s not too late yet.

 

[yaveen]

How do you define success? What goals do you want to achieve in life? Will a higher ATAR contribute to these achievements, even indirectly? Where do you envision yourself in 5 years? What can you do to BE who you envision? What do you value? How can you spend time on your values (friends, family, adventuring, photographing, coding)? How can you balance what you HAVE to do (try in school, this doesn't mean try to be Jimmy from James Ruse who gets an ATAR of 300, it means to put in 101% in what you do). Split time between what you need to do and what you want to do (friends, photography, e.t.c). No one enjoys school more than hanging out, (I wish I chose a subject that includes coding, because now I can only code as a hobby), so study alongside giving time for yourself. In fact, if you give time to yourself, you are really giving time to your study, because if you aren't in the right emotional or mental state, how will you be in the right academic state? It's all part of YOU and not THEM.

BTW I'm actually kinda jealous of the websites you've worked on...sounds like you were a freelancer or smth or it was apersonal project, but the websites use no JS because I haven't had the time to learn it lol.

So many questions Lol
1. Success is when an outcome presents in an expected way, but the binary of failure fades when you learn. idk what this has to do w studies lol
2. I have a list, but when I showed one of my friends the list he said that they’re not life goals, they’re just things i want *right now* which I think he means I can achieve everything on that list within a year… so I don’t really have any life goals then?
3. Searching for employment and having a strong enough foundation to actively search for relationships. Very idealistic tho.
4. do everything on my “life list” I guess
5. thats the thing I don’t have time
6. I genuinely cant with this timetable but after trials I‘m planning to work on this big project with this guy from the Netherlands so hopefully that’d be fulfilling. I might go on many more study sessions w friends. I’m not sure tho, how do you do it?
7. i honestly dont know, my academics just suffer and i cant do anything about it. a

also don't be jealous, the way i learnt web dev took too much hard work to justify, and i highly recommend learning it when youre older.
i spent my entire 6 week break designing and learning how to build a web app, then pushed through burnout in term 1 while falling behind everyone else. could barely focus on anything but the project because professionals within my field said it was impossible, and i proved them wrong but at the cost of a lot of other things. on the week of the holidays i was stressed (like knees shaking stressed) that i wouldn't be able to build everything in time and in the end i ended up removing features and lying in my development diary so that i 'hit the MVP'. before transitioning from design to development, i did take a trip to canberra in the hopes of relaxing, but all that did was reveal that my hair actually started falling out lmao. reddit loved the project tho
source code

tldr pleaseee dont be jealous

 

[yaveen]

Ill add my two cents, I think school as a whole is greatly misunderstood by people and adults who then convey this incorrect message to students who are too young to know better. Dont look at school as being about "results" or "grades" per se, look at it as being about building skills. A high ATAR is really only of use for getting you into a few courses or for getting scholarships. For most people, an ATAR is a footnote in their lives.

What you should be getting out of school is discipline, goal setting, organisation and other general life skills. People say most of what you learn at school is useless, which is true. However, the skills you get out of it are not useless. Think about it, at school, you have work (exams, assignments etc) which you are required to complete to a certain standard within a set timeframe. To do this involves being organised, disciplined and an understanding of what is required. That is pretty much what you do at work. It is also what will be expected of you in your personal lives as spouses, parents and family members.

School is a training ground - practice your skills and try to improve on your performance. Dont get hung up on the mark. Id rather leave school with good skills and a mediocre ATAR vs cruising through and getting a good ATAR. One of those will 100% set you up for success in life, the other is of dubious effectiveness.

Also a sidenote, work on your interpersonal skills, because in the workplace relationship building/stakeholder engagement trumps intelligence in a lot of scenarios. Also, being good with people is far more useful in your family lives than an ATAR just saying.

i get that, and yeah you're right, school is a training ground for the workplace

but i think you misunderstand. my question is when will I live? or when will i stop yearning to live? the workplace isnt life.

also sorry i hate the word 'discipline'. whenever i see/hear it i just in relation to performance i get so incredibly triggered. i understand what you mean, but i hate the idea of external discipline. it's the only discipline i have, because ive only been fixing the problems assigned to me and not my own.

i'm not rejecting your advice, im definitely taking it and trying to detach myself from the ATAR.

also, i can't build interpersonal skills if ive thrown away most of my friendships because studying for an exam or doing an assignment always takes priority. i know that 'always' needs to end but i want it to end right before my trials and it's throwing me into a downward spiral. first day back was terrible because im realising how behind i am in course content and every damn hour was spent for productivity.

honestly tho this is just me whining
at the end of the day i gotta push through
as always

 

[yaveen]

My advice is go to the gym, it’s my free therapy but in all honesty you will be okay, there’s 10 more weeks left and then it’s all over. Try become friends with more people in your grade, be confident, be stupid, it’s not too late yet.

man i really wanna start going to the gym that's on my post hsc list (parents wont let me until after the hsc)
10 weeks is true
i cant maintain my existing friends what makes you think i can make new ones lmao (i'll try but idk)
confidence is cool, stupidity is... well you gotta teach me lmao
thanks tho

 

[Schmeag]

i get that, and yeah you're right, school is a training ground for the workplace

It's also the place where you get molded to fit with civilized society, just like everyone else (i.e. it's not training just for the workplace). Year 12 is a culmination of the habits you've developed over the years in primary and secondary school. It's going to be hard to make major lifestyle changes since you're right in thick of it now, but if you feel like shit is really hitting the fan, then you should consider making some drastic changes to improve your environment and seeking help from your school counselor or equivalent who might direct you to additional resources (I get the sense that's not the case, though).

But more than ATAR, I think that school itself becomes a bit of a footnote later in life: something that you might remember with some fondness, or prefer to forget, but not the be-all-and-end-all it may have seemed at the time. With insight and effort, you still have the opportunity to develop sustainable habits.

but i think you misunderstand. my question is when will I live? or when will i stop yearning to live? the workplace isnt life.

Work is part of life as we know it. What is meant by "workplace" is has evolved over the years, but ultimately, we are made to understand that to flourish in "civilized" society, you have to earn to making a living, and in order to earn, someone has to be willing to pay you for it. You then have to decide if it's worth your time, or to move on. There's pragmatism in working a well-paying job that you loathe if you can live well and have decent work-life balance, but to last long at that job, those rewards obviously have to somehow more than offset the stress you bring from work. There's also something to be said for enjoying your work and living a more modest--but nevertheless enjoyable--life. You just have to figure out where that sweet spot is with the opportunities you have at the time.

In the same vein, don't forget to reward yourself after study. Make sure that you keep up with your photography and web development after HSC. Plan to work part-time to develop some financial freedom. Learn how to balance them with your coursework. Knowing there's something afterwards will help.

also, i can't build interpersonal skills if ive thrown away most of my friendships because studying for an exam or doing an assignment always takes priority

The opportunity to develop inter-personal relationships is always there. The first immediate one really is how you deal with your parents' expectations as that seems to be a sticking point. That dynamic is going to constantly evolve, and they are probably going to be figuring that one out themselves. The second one is how you deal with your friends. Friends and acquaintances come from anywhere--school, university/TAFE and even work. I mean, right now you have a bunch of like-minded people in the same boat as you and you're commiserating with some of them on a forum.

I know you are just destressing through forum-posting because its crunch time (totally valid strategy, by the way), but there's not really a single definition for "living" or a formula for when and how it happens. Get out of your comfort zone, be open to opportunities, travel, meet people, learn something new, but don't be a shooting star. Life's a marathon: pace yourself, set aside some time to manage stress (hang out with friends, work on your hobbies, whatever) and do your best with your ATAR. Doing better just gives you more immediate options, but there are usually ways to get in to do what you want to do if you don't make it on the first try--just expect it to take a bit longer. There's always the pressure to strive further, even after school and it's easy to get dragged further into the rat race than you would like. Periodically taking time to re-evaluate where you are as you are now doing is helpful, but avoid comparing yourself to your peers too often--there's always someone doing "better" than you (and there's always someone doing "worse"). Much like what you are doing now, you have to find your own way of working efficiently and developing yourself without burning out.